Mind Body Spirit 123

Bryan Appleton asked:




There are so many self-improvement programs and authors that it can be hard to know exactly which program or book might be right for you. Also, many people will read a book and be disappointed when their life remains the same afterwards.

What are some good guidelines when judging a program or a book?

Well, number one is its simplicity. There is no reason to buy a book that you cannot understand or to try a program whose strategies simply will not work in your everyday life. Simplicity is important so that you can start as soon as possible. The sooner you start, the sooner you will see improvement in yourself and you will most likely stay more motivated and continue with the program.

Second, it must actually work. There is no use implementing a strategy that is full of holes. Every year there are new fads that fade out over time. Real success programs and books provide information that will work this year and ten years from now. A really good program is worth the investment because it will benefit you for many, many years.

Third, it must be easily accessible to you. There is no use for a seminar to attend that is half-way around the country because you will have to wind up spending twice the amount after paying for a hotel and airfare. And let’s get real. Most people who are looking to improve their lives may not have the $ 1,000 or more that a seminar will cost.

Choose wisely.

Solace Swanson asked:




When starting out the the area of self development and growth, one of the most important and basic skills to learn is the skill to deal with issues in your life.

Many sources often overlook the process of how to change. The process is long and hard, and often you will lose motivation and forget your goals for self improvement. While you may yearn for instant gratification and instant change, the reality is that it just wont happen overnight. Habits take a long time to form and break; deeper psychological issues that a long time to resolve.

Often when people deal with their issues, they’re dealing with it in a LOGICAL manner. This doesn’t motivate you because motivation is EMOTIONAL. When you feel emotionally affected towards the issue, you will have the drive to resolve the emotions. This is the basis for my model of dealing with issues.

Without further ado, here it is: Dealing with issues, the 4 steps.

1. Figure out what the issue is.

This first point is ridiculously obvious, but incredibly important and oftentimes looked over. In many instances, we believe that we’re dealing with one problem when in reality we’re actually facing problems with a deeper inner issue.

For example, in the world of dating and relationships, the actual act of meeting members of the opposite sex can be quite daunting. The possibility of rejection, the fear that they will dislike you is present. No one likes to think that they are incompetent with the opposite sex, and this is the issue that may arise and challenge them if they approach and get rejected. So they sit at the back of the bar with their friends talking about how they’re ‘pimps’ and ‘could pick up anyone in this bar’ but ‘they don’t want to’ because ‘no one here is worth it’.

What is happening here is an avoidance of the real issue: they depend on other’s approval and reactions to feel good about themselves. An issue of low self esteem and low self confidence.

This issue would not be realised without some serious hard thinking and the ability to see things for what they really are. Your mind and ego will throw up a million different cognitions to throw you off the real issue because the truth hurts your sense of self.

This first point is ridiculously simple yet hard to realize.

2. Experience the issue.

This is different. I swear by this technique 100%.

When you figure out what the issue is, it’s going to try and hide. It’s going to throw up excuses as to why you have those cognitions. You’re going to want to avoid the issue. Yeah that’s right, you know what I’m talking about. This is the nerd realising that they suck with women but rationalising it as due to their studies or the fact that they “don’t have time”, then using that as a constant excuse not to GO OUT and MEET women. Or the woman who has emotional issues that affect her relationships but blames her relationship problems on her looks.

By experience the issue I mean to feel it fully. You KNOW it’s there, you aren’t going to avoid it. You just broke up with your partner? It feels crap. Don’t avoid having the feelings. You’re scared of chatting up that cutie? Don’t avoid the issue. Immerse yourself in the experience of feeling like that.

Only then do you have a solid base for your motivation to get the problem fixed.

3. Act on resolving the issue

After experiencing the feelings that you don’t want to feel, make a decision to ACT upon the issues. After all, just pointlessly making yourself feel bad is… pointless. So what did you do? Make a commitment to take steps forward in solve the issue. If you’re afraid that people will ‘reject’ you then approach people until you emotionally realise that ‘rejection’ by a stranger means nothing more than the fact that you approached them in the wrong way. If you’re avoiding exercise because of an underlying issue of laziness, get out there and exercise! Do you actually WANT to be unhealthy? How does being unhealthy feel?

Experiencing the issue should give you the MOTIVATION to ACT on the issue. If you don’t act, you’ll just stay the same. Do you really want to feel the way you felt when you were experiencing the issue? I doubt it.

4. Figure out your other issues

In self improvement, it is critical to remember that your problems will NEVER end and you will ALWAYS have issues to deal with. Reality is harsh.

If you’re serious about improving yourself, keeping this in mind will help you a lot. You will always have something to fix. Take a break once in a while, moderate how much you work on yourself, but never forget that you always have something to improve. Read “The way of the superior man” by David Deida. It gives a good description of this point.

Leanne Hoagland-Smith asked:




Do you have fears that limit your ability to move forward? Maybe this piece from history about Dragons may help you better understand those self limiting beliefs.

Centuries ago when maps were created by hand, cartographers (map makers) would leave an area near the edge of the parchment blank. Within this area, dragons would be drawn to separate the known world from the unknown. These etchings would serve as a warning about crossing into unknown territories.

Of course, human nature being what human nature is, early explorers do not view this just as a warning sign, but more of a prophecy which then created a self limiting belief keeping them from exploring further and discovering new lands and peoples. Dragons became real in their minds and they feared facing them.

Thank heavens there were always those ready to push the envelop or in this case the parchment and challenge the dragons. In fact some were so bold such as the Vikings that they actually carved dragons onto their mastheads. These adventuresome explorers had fears, but did not allow those fears to limit their opportunities.

We all have mental maps laced with dragons. These maps or better yet memories from our experiences guide us as we embrace each new day. How we choose to deal with these dragons of the mind is 100% within our control. As noted in the book God’s Little Devotional Bible, Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.

The quote from this book and the story truly resonated with me because how often do we allow those FUD moments – Fear Uncertainty and Doubts – drive our decision-making process and we potentially place our faith and beliefs in our own abilities and talents behind those fears instead of in front of them?

Within my executive coaching and consulting practice, I often use this acronym for Fear – False Evidence Appearing Real. When we allow fear to rule over our own talents (provided we know what those talents really are) we may have a tendency to look back at all the terrible things that may have happened to us instead of truly looking forward no matter what we see ahead of us.

For it is the present and the future where we actually reside not in the past. Our believe in who we are needs to come first:

Before the human fears of false evidence appearing real Before uncertainty and Before doubt

Of course with all the negative news and so many other people engaged in these negative self limiting beliefs it is a challenge to not let those dragons limit your potential, to keep you moving by taking that leap of faith in yourself. Henry Ford said it best: “Whether you think you can or you think you cannot, either way you are right.”

Peter K. Martell asked:




Not many people think of the Bible when they think of ways to improve themselves…,but …the Bible is actually a smart way to go about self-improvement. The wisdom in the Bible is very old. It has been around a along time. About 3500 years to be exact. That’s a long time. Therefore, the Scriptures are reliable. If they were not reliable they would have been thrown out long ago.

Salvation: A Life Changing Event

In the Bible, salvation is seen as a pivotal event. It is something that happens to a person that changes them on the inside. Isn’t that what self-improvement is all about? Changing on the inside? Changing the way you think? I think so.

I have know many people with problems like excessive drinking who report that after the salvation event they no longer have the urge or desire to drink any more, and I know it’s true because I live with these people and see that they do not drink. Others report being delivered from strong addiction to drugs of all kinds and this is an overnight event. O yes, there is power in the biblical salvation event.

The Power of Belief in Salvation

One of the reasons biblical salvation is so powerful is that it involves belief. Belief is a very powerful thing you know. Jesus said that if you have belief the size of a mustard seed (that is a very small amount) you could say unto a mountain, “Be thou removed and be thou cast into the sea,” and if you do not doubt in your heart: it will happen. Belief is a very powerful thing indeed.

Biblical salvation involves belief. Belief is a very powerful thing a human being can do. This leads to self-improvement. Believing in something has a very powerful effect on a human being, thus, bringing about change_ for the better.

Did you know that belief is a function of the human mind? It is something all men can do, and do. Weather you are aware of it or not you believe something: many things. Why not learn to put the power of belief to work for you?

Conclusion

No doubt you are wondering what you should do now. Well if you want to improve yourself give biblical salvation a try. People have been doing it for thousands of years with good success, Why not you?

By Peter K. Martell

Sarah Dillon asked:




As the saying goes, to love and be loved is one of life’s greatest treasures. It feels so good to be able to cherish someone and do selfless acts for them. But how can a person love another when they do not know how to love themselves? It is just as important to love one’s self as it is to love another.

Loving yourself is not egotistical, nor is it selfish. It is necessary. Loving yourself can have many meanings. It can mean that you know yourself, your goals and aspirations and that you work toward them. It can mean that you learn to say “no” when you simply cannot field another person’s request for time or resources.

It can mean that you take time out of your day to focus on yourself, relax, and think. What sense does it make to love others and put them ahead of you if you burn yourself out while doing it? Also, how can you expect to really help others if you have spent so much time on others that you have not kept things in order in your own life?

Before you can seriously love someone else by affecting them positively, you have to do what it takes to put yourself in a position to emotionally, financially, and spiritually help others.

Another way to look at loving yourself is in the area of relationships. If a person loves him or herself, they will make sure that they dress presentably, speak confidently, and bring goals to the table.

This person is confident because they are comfortable with his- or herself as they are. They love their life with all of its mistakes and faults, and they are happy. How can another person accept you, your mistakes and faults if you yourself do not? If you value yourself with love then others will be able to as well.

Loving yourself is an essential part of being successful in life. People who love themselves do what is necessary to be happy and fulfill all of their responsibilities so that they can effectively help others. They are confident in themselves and by themselves, because they define their own wealth instead of depending on someone else to.

They keep their bodies healthy and in shape, and ensure their own safety. They have a strong sense of spirituality that helps them to love themselves. All of these descriptions depict the ideal, self-loving person. This person has their own life in order, so he or she can effectively affect another’s. Loving yourself is just one step on the road to success and the road to service.

Irene Conlan asked:




Most people want to change – to do better, be better, achieve more. Many don’t know where to start. There are three things that must be present if lasting change is to take place:

Know who you are and what you believe – this is bedrock. This is not an easy task. It takes time and attention to get to know yourself. In our world of constant communication and instant everything, this can be a challenge. You don’t have to take long periods of time – hours and hours of meditation are not essential unless you are a yogi. But daily time with you is required. Take a walk with a purpose – to learn one new thing about you. Or give yourself five minutes every morning to reflect on your strengths and, oh, yes, your weaknesses. What are your good habits and what are your bad habits? What are your likes and dislikes? Pay attention during the day for clues to this. “I just love ___________, I really would like __________ or I just can’t stand ___________, I never want to __________. This will lead you to some important information about you. What are your beliefs and disbeliefs? I had a friend who says, “If you don’t know what you stand for, you’ll fall for anything.” Clich